Lost

I don't know what I'm feeling exactly right now is. I just got news about someone I know from high school, he is my senior btw. I don't personally know him but I have heard and knew about him. He and his other two siblings are still missing as I'm writing this. They were reported drowning this evening. My doa for them. Ya Allah permudahkanla urusan mencari mereka. Sedihnya ya Allah.

I feel like my emotions were triggered when i read about his news because it reminds me of people that i lost as well. I just finished my discussion for assignment. Alhamdulilah everything went well but I feel like I need some fresh air away from social media for a while because this news is all over there and I jusr felt tight in the chest seeing the news so I come here to pour these unknown feeling out.

Sayu sangat rasa hati ni tak tahu kenapa. My heart goes out to his family and friends. And I don't know I think I become too sensitive when it comes to death since I lost my very dear Mak. Ya Allah sedihnya. Al-fatihah Untuk mak sayang. 

See, we have no control over this thing. you can literally do nothing about this and I hate it honestly but who I am to question God's work. I'm still learning to accept this. I really hope diorang dijumpai dengan selamat I really do. tak dapat bayangkan perasaan keluarga dan sahabat sahabat diaorang. Sedihnya ya Allah.

As I grow up, when I look back I think I have lost so many people who are very dear to me. I lost them forever which is sucks. It really is but what else I can do? I just try my best to live life. It breaks me so much when I think about this because I know everyone else is also suffering including people who are close to me. I know we all do but we don't really show that part to the world right. Semoga Tuhan merahmati hari hari kita. Keep on being strong ya! But it would be nice to have someone to talk about this sometimes.

I think losing Mak really left a huge void in my heart. There is no day pass by that I do not think about her. She is like the biggest blessing for me and still is and forever will. She showed me what love really is and that is exactly what keep me going right now I think. And she also taught me the meaning of losing someone forever which is sad but what I am grateful for too. It makes me become a better person for me so that I can also become better for people around me too. God knows how much I love her.

So, what I can say is, cherish every moment spent with people you love because they wont be with us here in this world forever. I also hope you can cherish yourself too. Be happy. Find ways to be happy. Do what makes you the happiest. I hope we all can live life with love.

Al-fatihah untuk jiwa jiwa yang kita rindui.

May God bless us all, Assalamualaikum.

WITHER AWAY

some days are just like normal day passing by

though some are not.

some day passes by and at the same time it takes away your heart

leaving you in a maze of forlorn you wish you could escape.

the void feels so heavy and 

you just feel so very empty

almost as the world is no longer in colour,

but depressing grey.

not until that moment you soon realize

-the flower has eventually withered away.

Al-fatihah, Angah Sayang.

5/3/2020

this is my very personal piece of mine that I wrote for my arwah Angah. My first time to disclose this to public. I will just leave it here:) bye!